JoAnn in Real Life

Jackson Star News Updates and Other Nonsense

Posts Tagged ‘Beer’

NFL Reflections

Posted by JoAnn on October 19, 2009

Week 7 Reflections

Saints Alive! Dolphins Be Warned.

Dolphins had a bye this weekend, so not much to report. The good news is, Henne has had two good games and seems to be doing what he needs to do: nothing fancy, just don’t lose the game. He’s playing well, Tatasbut the verdict is still out. If the Dolphins want to beat the Saints this weekend, they need to keep Reggie Bush and Drew Brees off the field. The best way to do that is to run the ball, eat the clock and dominate time of possession while scoring on each drive. It’s what the Dolphins do best.

WildCat This!

There has been much discussion in the past week and a half about the Wildcat offense and whether or not it’s a gimmick. It didn’t help that Jets linebacker Calvin Pace whined about it after losing to the ‘Fins. He called the formation nonsense. To which Channing Crowder kindly pointed out that the Dolphins “Nonsensed their ass all the way up and down the field.” Well put and to the tune of 110 yards, I might add. Look, is the wildcat an unconventional formation? Of course. Is it a gimmick?  Absolutely not, unless you’re the team getting embarrassed by it. The wildcat is an offensive formation, that if you have the right personnel, can be a great offensive threat. If it were a gimmick, you wouldn’t have so many teams adding it to their playbooks, college and pro. Miami has two phenomenal running backs, one with a steady throwing arm. They have two versatile quarterbacks. Right now, no team in professional football has a better team to run this formation than the Dolphins, though others are trying. But my point is this: Just because it’s fairly new and being used a lot now by a team, doesn’t make it a gimmick. Let us not forget that a forward pass wasn’t always part of the game. I’m sure it, at one time, was called a gimmick.

Cold Reality for Sanchez

Speaking of the Dolphins and Jets, it’s inevitable that when it comes time for the Dolphins to play the Jets again, this time in New York, people will speculate that the Dolphins will stumble because it’s a warm weather team. Did you see Mark Sanchez‘s performance against Buffalo this weekend? Five interceptions in the unseasonably frigid October. Henne played college ball at Michigan. And grew up in Pennsylvania (Unrelated tidbit: Henne graduated from the same high school as Kerry Collins.) But I digress. Sanchez is a California boy. I still can’t figure why New York thought he would be a good fit for them in the long run. Weather may be a factor, but maybe not in the way New York hopes.

Remember the Titans? They Don’t.

Three teams are going into week 7 without a single win: St. Louis Rams, Tennessee Titans and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Truly pathetic in a league with a salary cap designed to keep things competitive. It’s especially sad in the Titans’ case, after the beatdown they received this past weekend courtesy of the New England Patriots. It really makes you wonder how a team could fall so far from one season to the next.

Open Letter to Washington Redskins Coach

Dear Coach Zorn,
I hear Wal-Mart is hiring.
Best wishes,

Coach Q.B. Controversy Is At It Again

This is the second and last time I plan to talk about Browns Coach Eric Mangini. Dude needs to pick a quarterback and stick with them. Geez! He pulled this same tap dance when head coach of the Jets. Look, I get that your options are pretty gimpy, but unless you can acquire someone else, those are the options you have. You need to name a quarterback and then let them play enough games to properly evaluate them. Playing duck-duck-goose with your quarterbacks is a horrible way to manage a team.

Really McNabb? You Realize Your Getting Paid Millions to Play this Game, Right?

Someone needs to get Donovan McNabb the “Idiot’s Guide to Football.” (I’ll even help you out. Here’s a link: Amazon: Idiot’s Guide to Understanding Football Like a Pro.) Yes, Donovan, games can end in ties. And sorry Donovan, but each team only gets 3 timeouts in a half. So when you’re trying to score with seconds left in the first half of a game, don’t like the defensive formation and want to call a timeout to evaluate, it’s best to first evaluate if you have a timeout available. Of course, I don’t entirely blame McNabb for this one. Andy Reid clearly lost his clock-management mind when he called two timeouts following incomplete passes that stopped the clock anyway.  I really don’t know who wanted to lose more yesterday: Reid, the Bills or Mark Sanchez. Each of those did all they could to tank their team. Reid and Sanchez were successful.

Silver Lining for Jim Zorn

In honor of Coach Zorn, I bring you some press conference highlights. As the husband so poetically stated, he is a Coor’s Light commercial in the making. For the second video, skip to 39 seconds in. That’s where Bill expects the Coors Light guys to grill Zorn for buying beer that’s not Coors Light.


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NFL Reflections

Posted by JoAnn on September 22, 2009

With a few good games under our belt, here are some thoughts …

Dolphins Owner Misses Mark

Stephen Ross,  the new owner of the Miami Dolphins, has no clue how to nurture and grow a loyal fan base. After enduring last night’s home opener against the Colts, the live Jimmy Buffett concert on the plaza  is the only positive addition of all the superficial changes.  The “Orange Carpet” where celebrities enter the stadium divides the plaza and creates an annoying traffic issue. The new “Fins Up” signal where celebrities tell us to put our hand up to rayour forehead looks more like a rooster than a dolphin. And while I love Buffett and think his new Fins song is great for games, it’s a lousy fight song. (Nevermind the fact that the cameras are always zooming in on Landshark Stadium employees to give the appearance that everybody is doing the Fins dance.) I’m glad they ditched the T-Pain remake of the real fight song, but now Ross needs to listen to the fans and restore the original fight song. It’s sad when your team scores and a laid-back song immediately quiets the crowd. Yes, the old fight song is hokie. But it’s tradition and football fans like tradition. Apparently, these changes are designed to fill seats. In an interview with the Miami Herald, Ross said he realizes that winning games would fill the stadium, but he’s designing a game-day experience that will fill the seats even when the team sucks (paraphrasing, of course.) To me, that is a horrible statement to make. He’s so focused on walking in the celebrity circles, he basically told the fans he’s not worried about building a winning program. The one good nugget in all of this is that Ross is smart enough to leave the football up to Parcells and Coach Sporano. Ross may not care about winning, but these guys do. And while the first two games of the season have ended badly for the Fins, the heartbreaker against the Colts showed some very promising signs. The offense controlled the ball for 45 minutes of the game and the running attack was phenomenal. Unfortunately, Ted Ginn continues to show that he can’t catch a ball, even when it hits him in the hands … twice … in the end zone! And, the defense gave up 27 points to the Colts, whose offense was only on the field for a total of 15 minutes. They have some serious work to do there. I can’t wait to see what adjustments they make this week. Go Fins!

What’s in a Name

In watching the score updates on the CBS crawl on Sunday, I had to laugh every time I saw C. Ochocinco stats run across the screen. I can’t help it. I like this guy.

Burress’ Barney Fife Routine Lands Him Excessive Sentence

Plaxico Burress drew the short end of the sentencing stick. I think what he did was stupid. But two years? Really, New York?  Michael Vick got 23 months for his dogfighting activities, which I thought was on the mark. He acted with malice and showed a grotesque lack in judgment. Donte Stallworth got a whopping 30 days in jail for manslaughter after driving drunk and killing a human being. Granted, it was an accident and the victim was improperly crossing a very busy causeway, but a human was killed. And Stallworth was driving drunk!  Burress broke the law by illegally carrying a handgun. His accident was in shooting himself in the leg. He didn’t hurt anyone else. I think he should be punished, but believe his penalty should have fallen somewhere between animal killer and manslaughter. But I guess that’s the difference between committing a crime in Miami and committing one in New York.

Jerry Jones is Acting Like Jerry Jones

Jerry Jones

Jerry Jones

Yes, the new Cowboys stadium is very cool. You know what’s even cooler? The fact the the inaugural game was a loss. There are three teams in the NFL who have really annoying, arrogant and outlandish owners. The Bengals, the Raiders and the Cowboys. Nothing personal Cowboys fan, but I love the shots of Jones whenever his team is about to lose. And I hope the kickers of every opposing team that plays in that new stadium this year make an effort to hit that jumbotron. It’s a great feature, but it clearly needs to be raised. The NFL isn’t asking for anything unreasonable. Jerry Jones is just being Jerry Jones.

Rex Ryan is OK in My Book

I’m not a Jets fan, but I like their new coach. NFL coaches have become way too politically correct, which is going to make for some really lame Coors Light commercials down the road. Glad to see some old schoolers are still making the rounds.

Favre Continues to Unimpress

Brett Favre is still annoying me. Did I mention he took himself out of Sunday’s game for a bent fingernail. *sigh* Granted, they were winning and it happened toward the end of the game, but still, it’s a fingernail. Keep it up and he won’t be able to do his rugged Wrangler commercial anymore. I guess he has Sears to fall back on. At least those commercials are funny.

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JSN Update – 6/15/09

Posted by JoAnn on June 15, 2009

Michael Ward

Michael Ward

* Michael Ward of Millwood was arrested last week after breaking into two Jackson County residences. In the first incident, Ward gained access to a woman’s home while the homeowner was home. Ward asked the woman for a beer, which she denied. He then made inappropriate advances toward the woman’s granddaughter, leading the woman to order the man out and he left. I would’ve ordered him out after the beer request, but that’s just me. Ward then went to another mobile home, where in white trash fashion, used his welfare card to try and break in. When that didn’t work, he just kicked the door in and loaded up some stuff. At that point, the husband of the woman in the first residence arrived home, grabbed his shotgun and went looking for Ward. After cornering him, the local man was able to delay Ward until police arrived. Being less than cooperative with law enforcement, Ward ended up in a little tangle with several officers and ended up cutting his head on the mirror of a patrol car. Enjoy the mug shot. We’ll just file this under things that seemed like a good idea at the time.

* Two years in the making, Gilmore Elementary‘s playground has gotten a much needed facelift with asphalt painting, new swings, a new fence and paint for playground equipment.

* In a look back at RHS history, 10 years ago this week the Ravenswood High School Red Devils won their first AA state baseball championship under the heavy hitting of Brian Archer, Chris Claudio, Corey Kruk, Daniel Curry and Luke Salmons, all of which were named to the All-State Team. So in Where Are They Now fashion, if you know what any of these fellas are up to these days, drop us a comment and fill us in.

* To all you Class of ’99ers, I heard form Beverly Yeager who said she is working on pulling together some plans for your class reunion. Hang tight as more information will be on the way soon, but no details have been finalized as yet.

* With school out for the summer, we’re replacing the school lunch menu segment with a new segment I am stealing from Stephen Colbert — Tip of My Hat, Wag of My Finger. First up is Jackson Newspapers. When most newspapers make a mistake, they often run a correction in some conspicuous section of the newspaper usually under a story about widget making or some other lame thing that puts you to sleep before you ever have a chance to read the correction. Not Jackson Newspapers. After making an error in a story earlier this month, the newspaper ran a correction on the front page. So tip of the hat to you, Jackson Newspapers, for doing your best to get the right information out.

As for Ravenswood Grade School, you get a wag of my finger after the Jackson County Health Department found one “critical” and three “non-critical” health code violations. Snack Shack, a restaurant that recently opened in Evans, received three non-critical violations. Ravenswood High School and Skate-A-Rama received none.

Finally, tip of my hat goes to Ravenswood’s Pampered Paws Pet Salon and its owner, Beverly Southall, for donating her time and energy to give puppy makeovers for dogs that were rescued last month from the home of a hoarder in Sandyville.

Stay Thirsty My Friends

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JSN Update — 5/28/09

Posted by JoAnn on May 28, 2009

Today’s Jackson Star News Update includes insight from contributing writer, Billy Thunderbolt. Happy reading!

* Kathy Mattea will be headlining this year’s July 4th festivities in Ripley, the USA’s largest small town Independence Day celebration. The Cross Lanes native and multi-Grammy award-winning singer’s performance will be free to the public on the courthouse lawn prior to the fireworks extravanganza, courtesy of the Dickirson Corp.

Army Captain Nicki Holbrook and a fellow soldier pose for pictures with the recently received gifts for the Wounded Warriors program in Iraq.

Army Captain Nicki Holbrook and a fellow soldier pose for pictures with the recently received gifts for the Wounded Warriors program in Iraq.

*Dr. Nicki (Danko) Holbrook, class of ’96, who is currently serving in a U.S. Army hospital in Iraq, received gifts from two Jackson County groups for the Wounded Warriors program, which benefits injured and sick soldiers. Items included 50 phone cards, freezer pops, batteries and personal hygiene products. Nicki’s lovely picture appeared on the front page of the Jackson Herald.

* Kaeleen Pease, daughter of Rachael (Vanscoy) and Nicky Pease, both class of ’97, was one of the students of the month at Henry J. Kaiser. Well done, Miss Kaeleen.

* Annie Hunt, daughter of Mary Beth (Varney), class of ’96, and Scott Hunt, class of ’94, was also one of HJK’s students of the month. Well done to little Miss Annie, as well!

* For the youngsters who have engaged in a little mischief this year, please be aware that if you have been assigned after-school detention, all your time must be served or it will carry over into the next school year. No one wants to start off a new school year with detention already in the hopper, so I suggest just taking your medicine now and get it over with.

* Pit bulls have not been banned in Ravenswood, but city council is working on a breed-specific ordinance that will require owners of pit bulls to take a few extra steps in ensuring public safety. Stay tuned.

* The Ravenswood and Ripley city pools are open. Both celebrated the first swim day of the season with free admission. However, the Ripley pool conducted a food drive for the local animal shelter as part of opening day festivities. Score: Ripley pool – 1, Ravenswood pool – 0.

* Yuengling beer is now available in West Virginia.  Let’s be serious … it’s no Dos Equis, but we all can’t live vicariously through ourselves.

Also, Yuengling is not available in kegs or 40s, so that rules out keg stands and Edward 40 Hands, but that’s what Natty Light is for. Enjoy!

Until next time, stay classy San Diego.

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